Did anyone watch the Superbowl this last weekend? Well we did. Some of our kind new Canadian friends invited us over and we had the obligatory chips and dip, chicken wings, pizza – all the best snack foods. We were rooting for our most recent American residence, the Denver Broncos. I won’t say anything except that during the first half the room was silenced during the game and breaks were taken only if absolutely necessary, during commercials. The second half of the game – well let’s just say – we watched the commercials and not much else. I especially liked the Heinz Ketchup commercial with the grandma and the flatulent ketchup bottle. That never fails to get a laugh in our house either. As much as we anticipated the Superbowl; here is the anticipated second installment of my new vocabulary! Hopefully you won’t be as disappointed as I was in the outcome of the game!
1. Can I have gravy on my fries? – Maybe this one should be on the SAT or something. It would be worded something like this, ” Ketchup is to Americans as gravy is to ___________”
OK, obviously I didn’t take the SATs but it would be a good question. My son Jake had a childhood friend who ate ketchup on everything – his mom even found a t-shirt for him that said “I put ketchup on my ketchup”. Well in Canada, it is pretty standard to have gravy on your french fries – not ketchup. It’s actually kinda good especially when it’s cold outside – like six months of the year- and you are craving carbs. Eventually they added to the gravy and came up with poutine which I spoke about in my last installment.
2. I drove 120! In rural Canada, we spend a lot of time on the road. I usually enjoy the opportunity to see wildlife and scenery – sometimes it’s a little hairy in the dark when you could come across a stray cow or, heaven forbid, a moose! Getting back to the point, I am getting used to the metric system. That’s where the 120 comes in. I didn’t drive 120 MPH I drove 120 Kilometers Per Hour. So that’s the equivalent of about 70 MPH, when I need to get somewhere and there are no Royal Canadian Mounted Police cruising nearby. It’s kind of like the temperature here being in Celsius. Jon says that there is an algebraic equation I can do to figure out how to convert Fahrenheit to Celsius. You know add 14, carry the 3, subtract the weight of a newborn goat, blah, blah, blah! It’s easier to push the button on the Suburban computer.
3. Put on your indoor shoes. This is one of my favorite new things and I think it should catch on globally! It started at school – they asked the kids to bring indoor shoes. What do you mean? Well, right inside the first set of doors, they have racks on the walls. everyone takes off the shoes they were wearing outside and trades them with the shoes they wear inside the building! Your feet stay warm, the halls stay cleaner and the janitor spends less time cleaning up the messes! Brilliant! No mathematical equation needed here! Some of our lodge guests this fall even asked if they should remove their shoes inside the dining room! Don’t worry – we are a hunting camp we won’t make you take them off in the lodge but inside the cabins would be nice.
4.That’s some hot wood! We spend considerable time teaching our kids that fire is hot-so this should be a no- brainer. But I have since found charts available on the internet that tell you the types of wood that burn more quickly, higher thermal units per inch etc. I’m very scientific these days! Anyway, it’s true. We have cut up felled trees on our property like poplar – it starts quickly but it burns fast and leaves a lot of ashes in the wood stove so more clean up. Our neighbors told us we should get some tamarack. I checked it out, it’s the common name for Larch trees. The word tamarack probably came from an aboriginal word for the tree – they used them for many things. So if you find some really dry tamarack – it burns cleaner and hotter which is good when it’s -25 F or -31 Celsius for those paying attention.
5.It’s only an hour to the mall. Well it’s an hour to the Dauphin mall which has about 20 stores including a Wal-Mart and a Safeway which don’t really count for me anyway. I did not move to Canada to go shopping anyway, why would you want to be indoors with all the wildlife and beautiful scenery here? But, if you want to go to a better mall – you can visit Brandon (three hours southwest) and the REAL malls are in Winnipeg which is a three-hour drive southeast. So I guess we’ll be driving, either way. Grace and I are so excited because next week we are going to Winnipeg for a singing competition she qualified for and then we are going to the Polo Park Mall to buy her a new pair of jeans. I wonder if they have a food court?
6. Put on your toque – This is a historical and fashion statement all in one! I looked it up online and the main combined definition is: a small, brimless ladies hat made of soft fabric – fashionable in the 13th-16th centuries in Europe and France. Canadians have taken it to a whole new level. The answers I found from various bloggers and tongue-in-cheek writers: the ultimate in high Canadian fashion, worn year round whether cold or warm, yes it does get warm in Canada; a well-known and iconic symbol of Canada with its roots in Phrygia (modern-day Turkey). Wow, who knew there was such historical depth behind a hat? It’s actually quite fascinating if you want to read more about it. I am just glad someone thought of them because here in my new home, I don’t have to have a bad hair day to get away with wearing one and I have three now! I am quite fashionable you know?
So, tune in next time for another exciting adventure in Canadian colloquialisms and mathematical equations. You can tell all your friends you read a scientific blog. You are learning – not just spending time on the internet. I am sure they have never heard that before!
Karissa
manitobamusings 